I am fighting a war. There are may days that I feel like a drill sergeant. "Put that down", "Don't you talk to me that way", "It's bedtime because I SAY it's bedtime", you get it.
Tonight's battle is the Battle of Bedtime and my friends, I am losing. The water is freezing and their aren't enough boats. I have read all the parenting crap on how to get you children to peacefully drift off to sleep. Honestly, the only time my younger two children have EVER drifted off peacefully was when they were drugged (of course I am referring to when they are sick). My oldest sleeps like a champ, he's actually such a sound sleeper that I worry about him waking up in the event of an emergency. My middle one is much better since starting school too, he still has his moments but really, he's 5.
I've done it all: bath, book, bed; brush teeth, stories, songs; cry it out; rock them to sleep; just keep putting them back in bed until they get the point without talking to them; all of it.
My youngest is 3 and is the ring leader of this battle. Do not let him fool you. He may sound all cute and innocent but seriously he's the main insurgent. I have found this child sleeping in the oldest"s room, in bed with the middle one, in my bed, curled up with the dog in the hallway (that night I almost broke my leg when I tripped over them), and my most favorite: curled up on the bathroom floor sleeping with his head about 4 inches from the toilet <insert vomit noise here>. He has come downstairs naked (complete with the naked boy dance), with half of his pajamas on, in new pajamas, dressed as Iron Man, you name it. I have pictures of almost all of these places which I look forward to sharing with his wife someday and whispering to my future grandchildren for payback.
I am seriously at the end of my rope with this bedtime crap. I have no ideas left other than to have the kids that are up until 11 pm watching various child-inappropriate things that kids that stay up until 11 watch because "it's easier than enforcing rules". I may just have to go to the "you don't have to sleep but you can't leave your bed" philosophy which I think is insane for a 3 yr old. As I write this it is 9:40. They have been upstairs since 9 (summer vacation baby!) and it still sounds like a heard of elephants in his room. It's very difficult to not yell at this moment. The keys on my keyboard are screaming for mercy, they are taking most of the heat right now!
I realize that I will miss this one day. I will want this back. I already have the "I miss cuddly babies" or "maybe we should try once more for a girl" moments more than I should. And I feel like they are growing up so fast that I can't keep up. Why is this one thing so difficult? I'm reasonably sure that I'm not a bad parent for wishing that I could just tuck them in and kiss them goodnight and that was the end of the drama.
~Sigh~ I wonder where he will eventually pass out tonight??
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